


Him Who Was Like The Sunset

by xilverlining



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Accidents, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Regret, Romance, Suicide Attempt, The Author Regrets Everything, Tragedy, ryeonseung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22290352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xilverlining/pseuds/xilverlining
Summary: Seungwoo loves the beach. The sunset. His sunset. But that sunset was briefer than he could have imagined.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Han Seungwoo
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	Him Who Was Like The Sunset

**Author's Note:**

> https://twitter.com/x1lverlining/status/1218140945520062466

Seungwoo loves the beach. Especially when nobody else is around. It's calming. The sea breeze. The softness of the sands. The sunsets.

Seungwoo loves the beach. Even in winter. He would come to the beach to sort his mind. To make peace. With himself. To think back.

That beach is where it all started. It's where he met Seungyoun. It was summer. Seungwoo was minding his own business when a handsome young man suddenly approached him. Might be just a bored flirt, Seungwoo thought.

_"Hello there, lonely soul. Why is a beautiful person like you sitting alone at this beach?"_

Why would this person greet him, of all people? There were a few other beach visitors at that time. There were even a group of beautiful college girls he could hit on. But why him?

 _"I'm enjoying the sight by myself. Would you mind if I continue?"_ Ah, was that too harsh?

_"Hahaha! Let me join you. I won't bother you. Promise."_

The young man lay his body on the sand. Not caring his tank-top might get dirty. Seungwoo stared at him for a little while. Curious. Until some other guys' shout startled him.

_"Hey, Seungyoun! Not gonna play volley with us?"_

_"Nah, I'm beat! Play without me!"_

Seungyoun. So that's his name, Seungwoo thought.

 _"Why won't you play with them? Isn't it boring just sitting with me here, Seungyoun?"_ Seungwoo subconsciously wanted to try saying his name. Seungyoun blinked in surprise and raised up. Keeping eye level with Seungwoo's. Sitting a bit too close for a stranger.

_"That's not fair~ Tell me your name, too."_

Seungwoo averted his eyes. The sudden eye contact overwhelmed him.

_"Seungwoo."_

_"Ooh? We both have 'seung' in our names! Nice to meet you, Seungwoo."_

_"...Likewise, Seungyoun."_

It was a weird introduction. Seungyoun didn't ask anything else. He didn't lie when he said he wouldn't bother Seungwoo. Somehow Seungyoun being beside him didn't bother Seungwoo one bit. In fact it was nice having someone near him. Someone whose presence was warm like the sun. They spent the time admiring the sunset and parted ways after.

\---

Seungwoo loves the beach. It was where Seungyoun confessed his feelings to Seungwoo. They met each other often at that beach. Until they developed special feelings for each other.

Seungwoo didn't understand what Seungyoun saw in him. Unlike Seungyoun who got a friendly personality, Seungwoo was very much awkward.

Whenever they hung out together, it was mostly just Seungyoun telling stories about his life as the beach's life guard. His interest in water sports like surfing and speedboats.

Seungyoun is so charming in Seungwoo's eyes. The more he got to know Seungyoun, the more his admiration slowly turning into infatuation. And eventually love.

Never did Seungwoo imagine of confessing his love for Seungyoun. He always felt he didn't deserve to be with someone as lovable as Seungyoun. He didn't even get along with Seungyoun's friends. But why would Seungyoun ditch his friends for him?

That one day in autumn, when they were sitting on top of high boulders to enjoy the beach from a different point of view, Seungyoun confessed.

_"Seungwoo, you might have felt it for a while now, that I hold a special feeling for you."_

It can't be, Seungwoo thought.

_"I love you, Seungwoo."_

No way, he thought again. Seungwoo fell silent for quite a while, making Seungyoun waited for an answer anxiously. Even Seungyoun who got so much confidence in himself wasn't sure if Seungwoo would accept his feelings. Seungwoo gathered his courage and held Seungyoun's hand before finally answering.

_"I don't think I deserve your love, but… If you're really okay with someone like me, let's go out. Because I love you, too."_

Seungyoun pulled Seungwoo's hand at that instant, hugging Seungwoo tight.

_"Thank you, Seungwoo. Let's go out. But please never say 'someone like me' again. I wish I could show you how much you mean to me."_

Seungwoo felt so much warmth. Not just from Seungyoun's hug, but also from his words. The way Seungyoun treated him. The way Seungyoun accepted him as he is.

He finally found a place to belong. In Seungyoun's arms. Life suddenly wasn't so hard anymore. Seungyoun was really like the sunset that he loved so much. Except warmer and brighter as time passed.

 _"I wish you can be spoiled with me. Tell me your worries more. Tell me what you want,"_ mumbles Seungyoun while still hugging Seungwoo.

Seungwoo pulled away a bit. He stared into Seungyoun's eyes but averted his gaze not long after.

 _"What's wrong, Seungwoo?"_ Seungyoun asked while smiling.

 _"Can I… Can I kiss you?"_ Seungwoo blushed. His face was red to his ears.

Seungyoun pushed Seungwoo's body down, blocking Seungwoo's view from the sunset.

 _"Just a kiss?"_ Seungyoun asked teasingly.

Seungwoo punched Seungyoun lightly in embarrassment. Seungyoun brought his face closer to Seungwoo's, touched their noses together, before finally kissed him on the lips. The sun set as they embraced each other deeper.

\---

Seungwoo _loved_ the beach. Until the sea took away his beloved one. Until he regretted not coming there on his birthday due to work. That day in the winter turned much colder than it should.

Unavoidable overtime. Seungwoo worked as a model and he just had to stay at the photoshoot studio longer than expected because of some equipment malfunction. He made a promise to meet Seungyoun that day, to spend the night at the beach. Just the two of them at the beach diner after closing time.

Seungwoo answered his phone at break time after many missed calls.

_"Seungyoun? I'm so sorry, it's impossible to meet now. I can't go home until late."_

_"I thought we made a plan for tonight, Seungwoo? I'll be waiting. I need to talk with you."_

_"Just reschedule and save it for another day, okay? Later, Seungyoun. I gotta go."_

Seungwoo ended the call abruptly. Something he regretted later on during his photoshoot.

It was already quite late when he finished work. He checked his phone to see there were other missed calls after his call earlier with Seungyoun. He called back, only to hear someone else answered it. It was Seungyoun's friend, Hangyul.

_"Seungwoo? Are you with Seungyoun?"_

_"Huh… I should be the one asking. Isn't this Seungyoun's phone?"_

_"He's nowhere around, Seungwoo. Everyone here is searching for him. He took one of the speed boat and left his phone at the diner."_

Seungwoo could feel his heart missed a beat, only to beat faster soon after. His temperature dropped down. Cold sweat on his temple. He rushed to the beach on taxi.

So many questions popped up in his head. It was winter. Why would Seungyoun be so reckless as to drive speed boat at night? Did he spend his time at the sea while waiting for Seungwoo? What was going on in his mind? Was he driving safely? Was the sea calm enough? The sea would be too cold for him to swim if something happened.

 _"No… Please… Anything but that…"_ Seungwoo mumbled as he got impatient in the taxi.

When Seungwoo arrived, there were several people gathered around. Seungwoo went to the diner right away, thinking Hangyul might be there.

 _"Seungwoo! Here!"_ Hangyul shouted as he saw Seungwoo running around in panic.

_"Did you find Seungyoun yet?"_

_"No… The lifeguard team are still searching for him…"_

Seungwoo's mind went blank until he heard a couple shouted at each other in anger.

_"It was your fault! He shouldn't have heard about the divorce!"_

_"Now you're blaming me?! When you barely spend time with him?!"_

Divorce? Was that Seungyoun's parents? Seungwoo never heard Seungyoun talked about them before. Did he go to the sea to take his mind off of things?

Before long, the crowd became noisy as the search team were back at the beach. With one of them came back riding a speedboat.

Not Seungyoun.

_"We found the speedboat he used, but Seungyoun was nowhere to be seen. The sea waves are too strong right now to continue the search."_

_"But what about him?! It's winter!! He would freeze if you don't do it now!!"_ Seungyoun's parents started yelling at the search team leader.

_"We're so sorry. We can't risk the team's safety in this weather."_

Seungwoo fell to the ground. His mind gone black. His Seungyoun is missing. Drowning at sea. Freezing.

 _"That can't do… I need to save him… Seungyoun… Seungyoun… Wait for me… I will save you now…"_ mumbles Seungwoo with empty eyes while started walking unsteadily towards the sea. If not for Hangyul realizing what Seungwoo was about to do, Seungwoo probably already swam at the freezing water. Hangyul held Seungwoo with all his strength.

_"Don't stop me!! Seungyoun is there!! Let me go!!!"_

_"Let him go, Seungwoo! Do you really think you can find him just like that?! Sober up!"_

_"But S-Seungyoun… He… I should have come to him like we promised… Then he wouldn't-"_

Everything became blurry in his eyes. The tears wouldn't stop.

If only he didn't ignore Seungyoun's cry for help at the phone earlier.

If only he sacrificed his work to keep their promise.

If only.

\---

Seungwoo hates the beach. It's been half a year since that incident. It's Seungyoun's birthday today. It should be. They never got to spend each of their birthdays together. Not even once.

It's summer now. Seungwoo still comes to that beach every so often even though he hates it. Looking at the sunset he loves. Loved.

He's just sitting there on the sand until nobody else is around. Until the sunset is no more. Staring at the sea. Waiting for something. Someone to come home. An impossible wish.

He takes a glance at the spot where there were supposed to be the boulders where they had their first kiss. The boulders are not there anymore. Replaced by some constructions. The most memorable place for him is gone.

"Seungyoun, your existence was really like the sunset. It was brief, yet so warm. It was bright, yet not blinding. And when you're gone, it's dark and cold. Even in your season. In this hot summer."

Seungwoo stands up and walks forward slowly.

"Seungyoun, today I will keep my promise of meeting you on birthday. Your birthday."

His feet touch the water. Slowly drowning to his thighs as he walks deeper into the sea.

"Happy birthday, Seungyoun. I will go to your side. Wait for me."


End file.
